Be where you are...
I'm more than embarrassed to admit that it has been over a year since I wrote a blog post for my site. A co-worker brought this to my attention in the most lovely way. He had come across my site/blog after finding the link through my IMDB page, and was taken by my writing. This was impetus enough for me to "pick up the pen" again, or just log onto my page.
In the time since I wrote my last post, A LOT has happened. I celebrated my 2-year Anniversary of my NYC-LA move, I made my Network TV debut AND booked a recurring role on another major Network TV show, I got into a car accident, I got a new car, I celebrated a birthday, I cut my hair really short, and got a puppy.
Despite all of this forward motion, I was going through a phase recently where I was feeling down about the fact that I still had to work a "job," and a restaurant "job" at that. I dreaded going to work, in fact, because it reminded me that I still had to. It's not even as though my job was/is bad in any way, shape or form. I enjoy my co-workers, everyone is respectful, and I've even met some really nice people who frequent the place. What happened was I had put a major judgement on my job and I was letting it get to me.
I had a wake up call after a very meaningful conversation with 2 of my regulars. I was speaking negatively about waiting tables in an update I was giving them on my acting career. What I got in return was a real slap in the face, again, in the loveliest way. My regular asked, "Why do you speak so negatively about serving? It's an honorable profession." I replied with something along the lines of "Yeah, but..." She said something along the lines of, "Putting food in front of people is a beautiful thing." She asked me if anyone had approached me about projects since I'd started working there. I responded with "not yet." She said, "If you approach your serving job with the same amount of passion that you approach your acting work, then people will take notice." Wow. She was/is right. Why not bring the same passion, enthusiasm, and positivity to my "job?" It certainly feels better to do so, and that energy probably permeates everything else I do too.
The day after we had the conversation, I felt like a weight had been lifted. What I took from the pearls of wisdom my regular bestowed upon me was/is not that I seek to do a good job at the restaurant so that industry people will take notice and want to plug me into projects, it's that inviting love, passion, and purpose into all aspects of my life will only benefit me and the people with whom I come into contact. It does me no good at all to carry around shame, embarrassment, or resentment about the fact that I have to serve to make ends meet right now, so I decided to let that go.
The fact is, right now, I have to work another job to support my artistic life. That's great! My job affords me the ability to pursue my acting career with as much gusto as I can muster. I am proud to say that I work at a lovely restaurant called Panzanella in Sherman Oaks, CA. Will I work at Panzanella forever? No. Will I earn my living solely through my acting work? At some point, probably. Everything is temporary, though, so why not accept the moment, breathe, and be where I am? Life's too short to spend it anywhere else.