I'm sitting outside in the (finally) cool summer breeze feeling and thinking a whole mess of things as crickets chirp, planes fly overhead and a band rehearses at a nearby residence. My home is quiet. Very quiet. Strangely so after 10 days of chaos. Actors and crew and equipment in and out, flying about, rushing around, making magic, working together, fighting the clock, fighting the sound of planes, fighting human error.
A backyard filled with lights and gear and food and people is now empty.
The house filled with red plastic cups and rotted party props and papers and hard drives and cables and bottles and snacks and people is now empty and (mostly) clean.
This project that I've fought so hard to bring to fruition with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, has. We did it. We shot it. It came together. Beautifully.
Several times I doubted whether I could pull this off. Several times I wondered if I was crazy or foolish for thinking I could. The support that initially inspired my story became fuzzy. Schedules got in the way. People's lives got in the way. Communication became hard to decipher. Were the people we wrote this for still on board? Were they excited or just doing me a favor? Did they doubt me? Did they feel hurt when I had to replace them?
Who's going to make up our crew? Will they show up the first day? Will they damage anything? Will I damage them? What if we don't make our days? What if someone has to drop out mid shoot? What if equipment gets stolen? Does the crew feel appreciated? Are they well fed? Do they respect me? Do they understand what this all means? Maybe I'm asking too much.
In a blink of an eye it's over. Did it actually happen? What do I do now?
The band has stopped playing. The crickets still chirp. The planes still fly overhead. The breeze rustles in the trees. I feel so happy. I feel so grateful. I feel so full, yet so empty. Lonely, yet surrounded by love. Alive, yet exhausted. Amazed. Fully spent.
Though I don't know what the future will bring for me or for this project, I know I did everything in my power to make it happen. Several angels found me along the way to ensure I could see this through. I am speechless at the generosity I experienced from the day I pitched this idea to a small group of friends until now. It's amazing what falls at your feet when you FULLY and TERRIFYINGLY put yourself out there...
I end with this:
ALL I WANT is to THANK the people that said "yes," the people that stood by me and my vision, the people that generously supported this project, the people that worked their asses off for little/no compensation, the people that showed up in front of and behind the camera, the people that saved my ass and taught me lessons along the way, the people that will help carry this labor of love forward and the people that we will (hopefully) touch with this story.
-Melissa Center 9/2/2105; The night after we wrapped my very first feature film, a dream come true, ALL I WANT.